yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
