sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
