a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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