Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
