normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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