Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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