I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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