I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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