Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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