nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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