You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
