My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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