I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
