They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
