first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
this is an emotional support booty call
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