It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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