You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize