Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
