halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
