Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
