You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
