that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
