The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
