I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i think my cat just said my name.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
