He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
