It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
