I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize