What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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