What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
