If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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