Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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