sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
