Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
