I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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