Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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