How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
