I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
