In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
