Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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