I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
