Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
