How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
