I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
