You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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