stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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