i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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