on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
