Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
