Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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