Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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