she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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