ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
