doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
