I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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