I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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