I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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