Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize