Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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