we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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