i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
