TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize