what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
