Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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