i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And then he peed in my hair
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
