dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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