My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no you cant smoke seaweed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
