Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
