why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
