the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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