they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
