No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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