I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
