I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
