did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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