you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
