Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
