I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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