Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
